Teenage angst

Hurray for christmas! I had my first house dinner tonight, it was fun! Today was a rather shitty day though. Had worked on my paper for ages, when it was finally done I make a stupid mistake, and now it's all gone! I can't get it back now. I sure do hope they give me another chance to hand it in tomorrow. In other news, my life is great! I realise that now. I got great friends ( Job, jaap laurens, tim steven, chris, koos, sarah, en iedereen die ik verder vergeet kusje!), I got a great job, with nice people, I got my own little place, with great house mates, Im studying something I reall enjoy doing, and last but especially not least, more or less firstly, my beloved girlfriend! Nicole you're great, one of the most beautifull things in my life=). When I look back at highschool, I realise how good I had it back then. No worries, no big issues, just chillin. But you only realise that when it's gone.. So I'm gonna enjoy to the fullest extend, every day with great people.

I love you all!

Ok now all this happyness is just getting scary. QUICK DEPRESSING LYRICS!
Vnv nation - Darkangel.

In your dream you see me clear
I have no restraint, no fear
Powerless I watched from faces I'd assumed.
My purpose set. My will defined.
Caress the air.
Embrace the skies.
Escape the sorrow and restraint of mortal cities.

Give me time I will be clear.
Given time you'll understand
What possesses me to right what you have suffered.
I'm in this mood because of scorn.
I'm in a mood for total war.
To the darkened skies once more and ever onward.
So many years I stood among the thoughts
and tears of those I served.
Among my own I was alone through my own doing.
All the years I walked unknown
behind the faces I assumed.
Powerless to clear your mind of what you'd suffered.

They fall again.
They fall again.

Give me time I will be clear.
Given time you'll understand
What possesses me to right what you have suffered.
I'm in this mood because of scorn.
I'm in a mood for total war.
To the darkened skies once more and ever onward.
There is no faith in which to hide.
Even truth is filled with lies.
Doubting angels fall to walk among the living.
I'm in this mood because of scorn.
I'm in a mood for total war.
To the darkened skies once more and ever onward.

I'd only come here seeking peace.
I'd only come here seeking me.

It seems I came to leave.

beautifull song. there that should even things out.

Reluctantly moving on

Aging dreams of raging streams,

Makebelieve is what it seems,

Though once it was reality.

You’re endowed with rays of golden light

You’re like a siren singing her song,

I like to wallow in your delight.

I can’t resist your call for long.

But like the story goes,

Maybe you’ll lure my ship ashore,

My foundations breaking on rock and soil.

On the hard rock that seemed so soft..

Plactise plactise!

what a busy week. had to hand in a paper, and I have to write another one for next tuesday. Also I have 2 examinations next week. therefore I couldnt post here unfortunately. I have a job now! Yesterday was my first time at work. It was much fun! Nice colleagues, and nice people. Well, that' s all I guess, I'll enjoy you with one of my older poems.

"Hurt"

I feel this tingling,

Tickling feeling,

I think it's healing,

Could this be,

The true love I looked for?

Couldn't I see,

Couldn't I get to the core?

I feel warm and fussy,

When she is close by..

And yet my mind is messy..

Cause im so confused as to why

I can't seem to hold her,

In any possible way..

Shes avoiding me,

Leading me astray..

I once felt this tingling,

Ticking feeling,

I think its dying..

Oh the mirth!

I present to thee, my new big love:

My bass guitar!

only mine is completely black =)

I'm so happy, cause today I found my friend(8)

Deception

As said in last post, I will discuss the thing I encountered at the concert. Before the concert I was, ofcourse, completely anxious to see placebo. When I was finally there, something seemed to block me from really realising I was there watching my most favourite band live. That brian molko really stood there, 4 meters away from me, performing. I couldn't grab it. Something blocked it. Maybe it was the fact that your eyes and ears, maybe even your brain, stand between you and the actual happening. Maybe it doesnt happen at all, and you're just imagining it all. Whatever the reason, I stood there, incapable of fully comprehending I was seeing placebo at that very moment. Its like my imagination of the concert, both before and after the concert, are more realistic then the concert itself. Why is that?

The joy!

The joy! Yesterday I went with my beloved girlfriend to placebo, and it was SO FUCKING GOOD! It was indescribable, the music, the visuals, the company! It was awesome in every way. By far the best concert ever. It was just.. well, suffice to say Im still bouncing from excitement.

Today ( saturday), We celebrated Sinterklaas with our family. It was hilarious as allways. Such a nice tradition, so simple and yet so much fun. The concert made a thing loose in my mind tho, but I will discuss this next post, because its kinda late, and I'm kinda tired. Good night =*